Today is definitely a day where karma has paid a long over due visit. I know why she came, and I suppose I do deserve it. In fact, I most certainly do deserve it. Maybe there's a lesson to be learned in monetary mistakes. Maybe the lesson I'm learning is not to overspend and live beyond your means. Even if it means that you must pass on a trip, or pass going out with a friend because there's just not enough gas left in the tank to go the distance.

And maybe the lesson is disheartening. The kind that makes you feel like a failure. There are moments in my life where I may not get paid for another two weeks but a birthday or a special event is immediately staring me in the face and I've got holes in my pockets. This is certainly one of those times. And I have a feeling that my belt is about to get super tight in the next few days. Looks like that little change piggy bank is going for a trip to the Coinstar. Whatever these young rich kids are complaining about is beyond me. From a working girls standpoint, there are moments of weakness and envy when I see a certain pair of shoes that I know I could have with a certain platinum credit card and just worry at a later point in time but that is the slippery slope of Slopes in Heels. I'm definitely feeling down and out right now about this whole thing and thank god there is no wine in the house because then that would just ruin tomorrow. And I just can't justify ruining another beautiful day with worry and regret. Even worse is CJ. He's worried and upset because we can't afford the $4k worth of Apple products at one time. Hello? Can anybody in this economy afford that, the rich and famous excluded? And we are definitely not rich. And a few more years away from famous. The good thing is he's always asking me how I'm doing financially and discourages me from even thinking about my cards. The bad thing about him, and this is the only bad thing because he's wonderful, is that he wants, needs, can't live without, an abundance of Apple products in the house. Just thinking about all of this stresses both of us out. We don't fight about it, thank god. But the tension and worry is there. And personally, I could care less about getting this thing right now if it would mean the worry would evaporate.

I'm cutting up my credit card until I have a hold on my spending and finances. I'm done with this insane merry-go-round.

I've eaten some cheese and crackers. Thinking that baking some bran muffins will boost my esteem. Again, thank god I got rid of the wine yesterday. Pray for us, as I pray for everyone else as we muddle through this disaster of an economy.


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