Guest Blogger- Part I

The argument of whether or not destiny is part of our reality is a common one, usually brought about when things either fall into place or things fall apart, only to be glued back together in a way that is more suitable than before. 
Such a conversation was lingering in the mind of one person in particular, who upon pondering over the occurrences of this past year, decided to share his thoughts on the topic during a long, dark walk on a balmy evening in central Los Angeles.

The Beard That Got My Seattle Back
by CJ Brady

It all started with a beard.  Well, that’s not entirely true. It started long before I grew a beard…

Being a Seattle native, I, like many others who grew up under the grunge rock era of Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains and Soundgarden always had an F-U attitude.  We did what we liked, dressed how we wanted to dress (in flannels and ripped jeans with long johns underneath, mostly because it was cold and we were poor) long before it became a fashion trend, and never gave a shit about what anyone else thought.   

Now, somewhere between my move to LA, a broken relationship, being alone in a huge city with no friends or family, no band, and no career, I had lost my Seattle-tude.  I became the shell of the man I only saw glimpses of when I would travel home for holiday visits. I worked random mundane jobs in hotels, malls, temping, and office jobs.  Sure I joined a band, played numerous live gigs, but was never really as satisfied as the rest of the band , who always seemed more concerned about partying at the “Bow” (short for The Rainbow on Sunset, once made famous by 80’s rock legends such like GnR.) And trust me, the Bow is not what it once was.

Anyway, I was never fulfilled, and occasionally I would like I said catch a glimpse of my Seattle self, but soon he would be gone and my low self esteem, lost soul would return. 

So lost I was, working a crappy office job, feeling miserable and wanting to literally jump off the roof everyday, and one day, after not getting a much deserved raise I was finally fed up enough to leave. A very good friend found me a place on a reality TV set working as a production assistant. I was excited to work in the industry and at worst I was thinking, if I never make any money playing music, this would be the next best thing. 

Now for a while being a PA was great, but pretty soon I was jaded from the negative atmosphere on set. No matter how upbeat I was or how grateful I was to be there, there was always someone else, who for whatever reason was not. Worst of all, I was enjoying my job, but I still wasn’t my Seattle self.  I was in somewhat of a relationship with my now girlfriend and owner of this wonderful blog, but things were more complicated: I was chasing her, she was running, work drama, and I was so insecure that for whatever reason, I really cared about what these other people on set thought of me, said about me, and I really needed to be liked by them.  Very much NOT the Seattle F-U attitude I once had.  

A year in and I was not focusing on music or anything creatively. I was traveling around with the show, making money and paying bills, (which by the way is no way to live… enjoy life, it’s short, too short) and putting on a front of happiness, when one day I looked into the mirror on the production truck and said the words that really changed everything.

“F*** it, I’m growing a beard!”  I didn’t shave for 18 months.  
And I loved it. Oh, the crew hated it, and this thrived for Seattle Ceej. I wanted it longer, bigger, grosser, and for whatever reason Adria didn’t mind it. And so I kept it. 

To be cont'd...

The door to happiness opens outwards.


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